After so long.

Laziness has dominated my action nowadays, it's been awhile since I last update my blog due to my slothfulness.

Although nobody would be reading it anyway, but perseverance is vital to tons of things.

Well, not much happened lately, beside hanging out everyday, killing times, as well as enjoying life and food to the maximum.

And yes, I categorized food and life together, no food no life eh. Lols.

Additionally, I missed everyday lunch by waking up late, fantastically splendid.

Hasn't been this free since ages, but I guess I've relaxed a little bit too much already..

By the way, I've found my job, I will be starting to work on 1st of December.

Have to start taking some responsibilities on the money I spent like the running tap water.

Working hours is pretty flexible, as long as the boss sees result, I could actually knock off anytime I want, or maybe just skip a working day.

How awesome is this, but I think it wouldn't be so easy like I thought since I just started to get in touch with all these credit card thingy.

Actually half of the reason is that maybe I could forget some unwanted thinkings and imaginations by working relentlessly.

People kept asking me to look for another, and to get over someone that is unworthy.

Everyday, every single minute passed, I kept distracting myself from thinking about it, numbing myself from this pain.

Every sleepless nights, I watch drama until I get heavy-eyelid-ed just to fall asleep, and it is already dawn when I got tired.

Staying home is actually torturous, people tend to think much when they are not doing anything.

So hanging out is the only way of escaping myself from this instrument of torture.

Time passed, I don't seem to get over it yet, never seems to stop a moment to miss you.

It seems that, the more I tried to escape, the greater disappointment I got from missing you more.

Friends scorned me from behaving this way, asking me to look for better, I disagreed.

Knowing and understanding someone all over again is tiring, at least for now I am too weary for it.

Since the first time meeting her, I've been thinking of settling down and lead to a stable relationship.

So I made effort to knowing her, giving her cares, spared most of my time on it.

Yet it ended up like this expectedly, sadly and disappointedly.

No one gets to blamed on this but myself.

I took things seriously before understanding it, once again.

Every time I try to see things clearly, the conclusion I got is always negative.

I mean, it always turn out I am the only one that still holding it tightly, couldn't bear to let go.

And I mean nothing to her already, this is a clear fact.

I once thought naively, after so many heart broken relationships of hers, I could give her my best to mend her heart.

To be someone that can be trusted fully, completely.

To be someone that can be relying on, although you might say you wouldn't be relying on boyfriend. Lols.

It's fine, you always do whatever you want, persist on what you think is right, and it's alright to me.

However, these don't matter anymore.

Frankly speaking, I feel that I am needed by you when you need me once in a awhile, when don't, I am nothing.

This is just my one-sided thinkings anyway.

That night you were lying on my laps when you were drunk, I spoke my heart out to a friend that fetch us home.

I asked, "am I very silly doing all these for her?"

I said, when I first met her I've fallen for her already, I've made up my mind that she is the only sweetie.

I don't know why, even after seeing other guys cuddling her, after saying all those harsh words, after asking her to go away and ask her to stay with her friends, I still couldn't just leave her there, I told him.

I still went back for her, I was worried.

I failed on letting go, guess this is my greatest weakness after all.
But deep inside my heart, she worths all these best that I could give regardless of she needing it or not.

On the day before she backed to Sg, we talked things out.

She told me she will consider about us, I told her to think of it for my sake, she agreed.

As for now, I bet she has forgotten like she always does.

Let nature takes its course then.

A meaningful song to intro. :)